What We Think Going On A Cruise Is Like And What It Is Really Like In Reality – In Pictures

Rooftop Hot Tubs – What We Think It’s Like

Ah, the image of a gorgeously luxurious and relaxing hot tub on the deck of some wonderful cruise ship. The sun is shining, and you are melting in the hot bubbling water, maybe with your partner, but both with plenty of legroom. You have it all to yourselves; peace, quiet, and bliss. It feels like you could do water aerobics if you wanted to, while watching others strolling leisurely by on the deck below. Well… This might be less reality and more fantasy…

Rooftop Hot Tubs What We Think Its Like

Rooftop Hot Tubs – What It’s Really Like

Gosh… Now that picture depicts reality a little more closely. We are sorry to be the ones to break it to you, but the romance in the hot tub on a cruise ship is not quite realistic, unless you want to share the romance with another few naked and overweight individuals. The same can be said for the legroom. Dream on. It seems that there is a running theme here of the well-known little game, “how many grown adults can this little hot tub fit in before all the water overflows?” So don’t get your expectations too high when it comes to hot tub relaxation.

Rooftop Hot Tubs What Its Really Like

Swimming Pools – What We Think It’s Like

Swimming pools on cruise ships are usually one of their main attractions, and one of the biggest selling points. Otherwise, what are you going to do stranded at sea, day after day? Similarly to the hot tub idea, you probably think of this wonderful pool area that is reminiscent of a private beach somewhere, but with water slides included. Kind of like a water park but without all the screaming children. And there is no line for any of the slides because there is no people-traffic, it is simply serene. Sorry to be the bearers of bad news again…

Swimming Pools What We Think Its Like

Swimming Pools – What It’s Really Like

Well, that might not be the case. In fact, probably everyone thought similarly to you, and all flocked to the pool. Only to find that half the vacationers are now at the pool and it is not quiet, relaxing, or peaceful. They are always full of people and always somehow smaller than you imagined. Some cruise ships do have a number of pools, so not everyone is all crammed into one area. But still, it may be pretty hard to live up to expectations of utter luxury. If you don’t mind children who are not your own asking you for a piggyback ride to get to the shallow end, then you have nothing to worry about.

Swimming Pools What Its Really Like

Sleeping Quarters – What We Think It’s Like

If you have not been on a cruise ship before then it might be hard to imagine what the sleeping quarters may look like. Or, in other words, your bedroom for the entirety of the trip. Many of us probably imagine either a large luxurious room as seen in swanky hotels, or maybe something we saw in a movie. Certainly a room that belongs to the rich and famous. Well, the photo here is in fact a real room on a cruise ship named The World, but this room costs nearly $9,000, per night! So you may say, that that is not something most of us can casually afford… The truth is, there are very few cruise ship rooms that look like this!

Sleeping Quarters What We Think Its Like

Sleeping Quarters – What It’s Really Like

In reality, a large majority of rooms on a cruise ship (depending on the type of luxury you are paying for too, of course, as the previous price mark and photo showed us) actually look less like a hotel room. The reality is more like, well, what they are: a small ship cabin (many with bunk beds) that will make the memory of your college dorm room seem like luxury. Ok, we might be exaggerating a tiny bit with the photo – they are not quite like jail cells, nor as grimy as this photo implies. But you will be lucky if you don’t have to squeeze between the wall and the bed to get to the tiny bathroom. Then again, it also really depends how much you are willing to pay…

Sleeping Quarters What Its Really Like

The Cruise Ship Bathroom – What We Think It’s Like

If you have never had any sort of cruise ship experience, you may have no real image in your mind of what the ensuite bathrooms are like. Your only reference may be a hotel room or something you saw in the movie Titanic. If so, unless you are on a $9,000 a night budget, you might have to think more in line with the rooms passengers in Dicaprio’s character’s ‘class’ had… This one also varies quite a lot, depending on the kind of cruise and ship. In many cases, you might be grossly disillusioned, especially if you are imagining marble countertops, gold taps, or private jacuzzis…

The Cruise Ship Bathroom What We Think Its Like

The Cruise Ship Bathroom – What It’s Really Like

If you are not spending a ton on this holiday, then you may have to lower your expectations slightly. You can anticipate slightly more linoleum walls and brightly colored ceramics that belong in the ‘70s and haven’t been redone since the ship was built. It might be better to imagine something closer to a bathroom in a youth hostel. We might have exaggerated again a bit with this photo, really showing you the worst of seaborne bathrooms. There are many much nicer ones available at affordable prices, we just want to help manage expectations.

The Cruise Ship Bathroom What Its Really Like

Ocean Sightseeing – What We Think It’s Like

The idea of sailing across the big blue, catching sight after sight of magnificent marine wildlife, is a commonly held one. Where dolphins swim and play right by you and whales splash their magnificent tails just yards away. How magical. Basically, the idea of being at Sea World, but for real and in the wild, draws in both younger and older demographics. These hopeful would-be voyagers think that going on a cruise is something close to a whale watching tour. The kind where people travel to excitingly populated areas of the ocean. Not quite…

Ocean Sightseeing What We Think Its Like

Ocean Sightseeing – What It’s Really Like

If you want to be a little more realistic about the sightseeing opportunities on a cruise ship, then you should probably think more about seeing a huge expanse of blue. Sadly, that’s about it. Remember, the seven seas cover an endless expanse, and you are in the ocean, not a marine wildlife acrobatic show. So, we recommend getting used to the idea of seeing all that blue, every day, and being surrounded on all sides by water. There won’t be much else that you can see at the very least. If you can do serene, and you don’t need excitement, then this is for you.

Ocean Sightseeing What Its Really Like

The Weather – What We Think It’s Like

When it comes to cruises, the weather can really make or break a holiday experience. Cruise ships rely on there being good weather, both for smooth sailing and for the enjoyment of the passengers. We are willing to bet that you have never seen a cruise brochure that advertises the fun activities to do when it is raining and stormy outside and you are surrounded by all that ocean on a cruise liner. God forbid a storm hits…

The Weather What We Think Its Like

The Weather – What It’s Really Like

While many people go on cruises in tropical places, we just want to remind everyone that tropical weather is, well, tropical. That means you can’t always predict the weather and the climate can be quite contrary! Especially to your sunbathing plans. The weather doesn’t really care about taking good holiday snaps, and mother nature doesn’t adapt to our individual plans, sadly. It is not uncommon to have bad weather while on a cruise, so just make sure you bring a few good books or something.

The Weather What Its Really Like

The Life of Employees – What We Think It’s Life

Some might think that the wages people get paid on a cruise ship must be phenomenal. And that they also get to mix with people from all over the world through their jobs. Those people they mingle with must be charming because, well, they are on a cruise. Surely they also get to see all sorts of exotic places on the way? How fantastic. Well, it might not be quite as exciting or fancy as it seems…

The Life Of Employees What We Think Its Life

The Life of Employees – What It’s Really Like

Let us begin by saying that if you thought the guests’ rooms were on the small side, then you haven’t seen the employees’ quarters yet. Their rooms are mostly bunk beds and are seriously pokey in size. Ship employees suffer through long working hours. Also, consider that they don’t get to go home after work – for a few weeks or months at a time! To the job’s credit, although it may not be as luxurious as you imagined, it can still be quite a cool experience for a time and they do save a bit of money as they don’t really have any expenses.

The Life Of Employees What Its Really Like

Destinations – What We Think It’s Like

If you ask a lot of people why they chose to book a cruise, many of them will say that it seemed like a good way to see lots of different destinations in one trip. Further, that it was a convenient way to travel to each place in between the all-inclusive experience. Of course, the time spent on a cruise ship can be great fun, adventurous, and exciting, as can all the destinations on the itinerary of a cruise be too. The question is, how much fun and adventure will you really be able to have on these stops along the way?

Destinations What We Think It’s Like

Destinations – What It’s Really Like

We are not saying that you wouldn’t want to be wherever this fisherman is. All we are saying is that the brochure often shows you the most picturesque locations, which may very well be as beautiful as the pictures, but that pretty place in the image may also be the other side of the town from where the docks are. You may find yourself in the industrial part of a town with only a few hours to wander around. Also, not every island is scenic. Although we tend to romanticize the idea of islands, some are neither very pretty or exciting, so just make sure you check the locations the cruise plans to dock at.

Destinations What Its Really Like

The Music – What We Think It’s Like

Many cruise ships are indeed known for the excellent quality of the entertainment they provide onboard, with some really fantastic musical and theatrical acts to keep you busy and entertained during your holiday. Entertainment is often a major component of the ship’s evening itinerary, and many cruise companies will spend a serious amount of money on getting celebrity acts on board. Lady Gaga, Madonna, Taylor Swift, and Rascal Flatts are just some of the acts that have headlined cruise ship evenings in the past.

The Music What We Think Its Like

The Music – What It’s Really Like

We really don’t want to be the ones to disappoint yet again, but we should mention that we would recommend you don’t get your hopes up for some famous celebs to be performing. That being said, you can get some seriously talented musicians on board, and usually, you can also check who will be providing the entertainment. In fact, many young musicians do this for a while when trying to save money and play regularly.

The Music What Its Really Like

The Dining Experience – What We Think It’s Like

Many professional photos shown to us online on various cruise-websites can give us the impression that all food served on cruises is basically gourmet, not to mention the endless varieties of cuisine available, of fresh wonderfully vibrant variety… Something in you just somehow expects, or maybe just wants, that there will be a five-star dining experience with every meal, a pristine buffet table, and wonderful exotic dishes that you have to ask a staff member how you pronounce it’s name.

The Dining Experience What We Think Its Like

The Dining Experience – What It’s Really Like

So we are not saying that some of that might not be true, that there may be some wonderful fresh food on cruise ships, but we also just want to remind you that they are feeding thousands of people every day, three times a day, so quality is not usually the central focus. Again, of course, it very much depends what kind of budget the trip is, and if you are on one of the more expensive ships, it might be totally different. But in the majority of cases, cafeteria-buffett is more the style you should be imagining.

The Dining Experience What Its Really Like

The Age Range – What You Think It’s Like

Many young people go on cruises to meet lots of like-minded people, to mingle with lots of people your own age, maybe a few slightly younger or older. If you are in your 20s or 30s you might be hoping for late-night parties, lots of loud music, tons of alcohol – all that kind of fun. On the other hand if you are in the slightly older bracket you might be looking for peace and quiet on your cruise.

The Age Range What You Think Its Like

The Age Range – What It’s Really Like

In reality, you don’t really have much control over who goes on the cruise ship with you and who doesn’t, so let us just first tell you this, most cruise-goers are in the older age bracket, so if you are looking for all that type of fun as a younger person, we recommend booking a specialty cruise. The same can be said for seniors who really want peace and quiet – you can book something where no loud kids or drunk people are allowed! Sometimes ageism can work in your favor too.

The Age Range What Its Really Like

Seasickness – What You Think It’s Like

Again, if this is your first time on a cruise, or maybe even a boat of any sort, then you are probably unfamiliar with the feeling of being seasick. When you book a cruise online you might think that the waters are always calm, and the ship always sails smoothly along towards its destination…

Seasickness What You Think Its Like

Seasickness – What It’s Really Like

In that case, we regret to have to be the ones to inform you that whether it be a ferry, a cruise ship, a sailboat, a dingy, a yacht, or any other type of seaborne vessel, seasickness is a possibility. It is a very real and horrible feeling and it can happen to absolutely anyone. Of course it can be worse if the sea is choppy and rough, when even experienced boat people can experience it. If you are not sure how you might feel, just make sure to take some tablets with you that can help soothe this feeling.

Seasickness What Its Really Like

The Ship Itself – What We Think It’s Like

This photo might look familiar because it is one of the most popular models of cruise ships advertised on various websites dedicated to travel. It is not hard to think why – it looks majestic, pristine, sturdy, and elegant. It is so beautiful and inviting that we all wish we could get down to those docks tomorrow and set sail for some beautiful sunny island. We regret to inform you that not all cruise ships are created equal.

The Ship Itself What We Think Its Like

The Ship Itself – What It’s Really Like

Ok, we definitely exaggerated – quite a lot! – with this image, and we only mean it in good humor of course, but we are just trying to bring it to your attention that there are some pretty dismal cruise ships out there. There is a wide berth between the seriously high-quality luxury cruise ships and some others offering ‘luxury’ cruises, so just make sure you do your homework or that your expectations meet reality to avoid disappointment.

The Ship Itself What Its Really Like

Want more? Read on for some behind-the-scenes secrets coming from former cruise workers.

The Secret Lives Of Cruise Ship Workers

Many of us may relish the idea of getting to travel the world, not pay for housing or food, while working. But there is a side to cruise ships that the passengers are not privy to. So remember that a cruise ship is basically a giant floating hotel, and while someone is lounging by the pool or ordering room service, there is a crew member catering to their every need. Before you decide to fill in an application and set off for the big blue, remember that the service and hospitality industry is always hard work, and take a look at some of the insider behind the scenes information that former cruise employees shared with us themselves.

The Secret Lives Of Cruise Ship Workers

Big Brother Surveillance

A former waiter on a major cruise line, Gavin, said that on the cruise ships Big Brother is no joke, meaning that there are cameras everywhere. Although this might sound slightly freaky, it is for the sake of safety and security, as you are quite literally in the middle of the ocean on a giant boat, and not to spy on private people or employees.Gavin said that “it is safe to assume if you are outside of your cabin you are probably on camera,”, and “in the event of any kind of emergency, they could pull security footage at any time.”

Big Brother Surveillance

Some Cruise Workers Have Double Lives

If you can imagine that you are away for at least half of the year and when you are away you are largely cut off from the wider world, then you can imagine that keeping secrets is made much easier in this situation. This explains why it is not totally uncommon for cruise workers to lead something of a double life.
There are not a small number of stories of couples who have a whole different relationship on land and at sea, maybe they think that marriage vows don’t hold up over international waters or something? Uhum, no judgement or anything, but we just wanted to clarify – they do.

Some Cruise Workers Have Double Lives

Cut Off from the World

Keeping up with your favorite television shows is not something you will be doing if you are working on a cruise ship, if you are working on a cruise ship you would be lucky to know what is going on with national news in real-time. Similarly, you might have to get used to missing the season of your favorite sports or see your team smashing it live. That is not to say that there is never any internet and so on, just that they are notoriously unreliable. Often, for many cruise workers this means the only time to catch up is when you are in dock, which is also often a busy time for employees.

Cut Off From The World

Crew Workers Speak In Code

For the important reason of not alarming all the passengers when crew members have to get a message around themselves, they use a code. Guests who have come on a cruise for a holiday don’t want to be alerted to every emergency, minor or major. Imagine the kind of chaos that could erupt if every passenger was alerted to the occurrence of a small fire somewhere on the ship? For this reason, crew members can announce certain codes without frightening or panicking passengers. For example: “Code Adam” means a child is missing, “Code Alpha” means there’s a medical emergency, “Code Oscar” means someone fell overboard, and “Code Bravo” means there’s a fire on the ship. Pictured above is a case of a “Code Bravo” when the Star Princess cruise ship caught on fire in the middle of the night in 2006. The fire is thought to have been started with a discarded smoldering cigarette.

Crew Workers Speak In Code

The Crew Knows How to Party Best Harder

Most cruise ship workers hold true to a ‘work hard, party hard’ motto. If employees are not on shift working then you can most likely find them drinking or partying somewhere. They also usually have a ‘crew only’ bar, which serves seriously cheap alcohol, and where they can all get drunk without embarrassing themselves in front of guests or their employers. Also as drinks are often not very cheap on cruises, some for example charging around $15 for a drink, the crew can get one for under $2. But although they party hard, they also have to know the boundaries as ships can be strict about their policies

The Crew Knows How To Party Best Harder

Limited Mingling with Guests – No Hook Ups!

If you think you might like the idea of finding some charming guest on the cruise to have a holiday romance with while you are at work, then sadly you should know that hooking up with guests is strictly forbidden, and it is actually one of the quickest ways to get fired from your job on a cruise ship. We have been told that the crew is actually discouraged altogether from interacting too much with guests on a one-to-one basis. This is in order to protect the company of the cruise line from any accusations or dramas that can hurt their reputations.

Limited Mingling With Guests No Hook Ups

But Hook-Ups Do Happen

Well this wouldn’t be the first time that something has been forbidden but it still happens, of course it does, but it is mostly avoided by crew members. However, that is not to say that hook up don’t happen at sea and that all crew members are celibate while working at sea for weeks or months on end. Of course, we mean that crew members often get together. Which is pretty easy to understand really, all stranded on a boat together, tons of cheap alcohol on hand, for long periods of time, romantic and exotic locations… Hookups are inevitable, and many ships actually have posters up about STD prevention in the crew quarters.

But Hook Ups Do Happen

Crew Members Pull Pranks On Passengers

Being at sea can get pretty monotonous and boring, and as a way to make things a bit more interesting, cruise ship staff sometimes pull pranks on passengers, usually nothing harmful or dramatic of course, as you could get fired on the spot! According to one anonymous cruise worker who spoke to Mental Floss, “A favorite was while in a passenger area say to another crew member, loud enough to be heard by passengers, ‘Meet you in the bowling alley tonight!'” Of course, there wasn’t actually a bowling alley on board. “Then we’d wait for the comment cards to come in: ‘Why do crew get a bowling alley when we don’t?’” Hilarious.

Crew Members Pull Pranks On Passengers

Unsold Cabins Must Be Filled – You Could Be In Luck

Cruise ships are often prepared to leave the port with a ship at full capacity, which means the right amount of staff too. Unsold cabins onboard the ship mean that the liner is losing money. So what you might not know, is that passengers can actually benefit from this, by purchasing a cruise line experience at a cheaper price. If you are able and don’t mind booking only one or two months in advance, and don’t mind having a cabin without a balcony, then this is a sweet deal. You can get all the newest information and deals if you subscribe to cruise liner’s mailing lists. Also, you can go online one week before the final payment is due, and perform a ‘mock booking’, then you can see which cabins are still available for lower rates.

Unsold Cabins Must Be Filled You Could Be In Luck

Cliquey Crew Members

In some ways cruise ship crews can be reminiscent of high school. There is not usually one big group but rather different social groups that can become quite cliquey. Sometimes the cliques depend on the various countries of origin of the different crew members, as cruise ships usually have quite a diverse bunch of workers from all over the world. Sometimes each group is known for something and can provide the other groups with something they are missing.

Cliquey Crew Members

Emergencies Can Be Disgusting

We are not sure if this is just an urban legend or if it really did happen, but it is quite a well-known story and enough of a story to make your stomach reel. The story is of a cruise ship serving some bad shrimp and the whole ship in its entirety got food poisoning; the food poisoning was so severe that the ship could hardly hold all the vomit. Ok, this is a seriously rare occurrence, but stuff like this can happen. A story we know is not just folklore, is what happened to a Carnival cruise ship in 2013. The ship lost power after a fire broke out in the engine room, and the ship was stranded for long enough on the Gulf of Mexico for the sewage to get backed up. This led to raw sewage bubbling up all over the boat, which smelt so bad that people actually made a tent city in order to be away from the toxic-smelling areas.

Emergencies Can Be Disgusting

All Crew Cabins Are Not Created Equal

If you are a cruise ship worker, you can’t expect to get your own luxury cabin, but the role you have in the crew will probably also affect the type of accommodation given to you. Officers and staff members have private rooms of the A-Deck, which is also just above the water, meaning hello sunlight! But as Anthony Andrieux, a former member of the Royal Caribbean Line cruise ships, says, the living conditions were hardly as nice for all workers. This was his take on the workers quarters; “The living situation was ‘tight’. You stay on the lower deck so you are always underwater. There are no windows in the room… You have a very small bunk bed that you literally can not fit someone else into (trust me I have tried). You can touch all four walls if you were to stand in the center of the room to give you an idea. I believe it is a total of about 10 square feet.”

All Crew Cabins Are Not Created Equal

Training Against Pirate Attacks

Many of us might think of pirates being something either way back in history or only something that exists in fairytale stories such as Peter Pan. Well, this is not the case. Pirates definitely still exist today. Although it is seriously rare for a bunch of pirates to take over a massive ship like a cruise liner, that is not to say that it doesn’t happen. And the crew is trained for the eventuality and how to handle it. Some cruises like Oceania Cruises and Princess Cruises give their crew training in how to get their guests away from the windows and use giant water canons to spray intruders with. Because cruise liners are so gigantic, the amount of water they can use could easily overpower any smaller ship. There is also the method of using Long Range Acoustic Devices, a device that emits a painful and loud sound. A luxury cruise liner used this method to escape a pirate attack of the coast of Africa in 2005.

Training Against Pirate Attacks

The Cruise Line Property

Brian David Bruns worked for a cruise liner for a while and in 205 he published a book called Cruise Confidential, in which he confided all there was to dish up on his experiences. He was the first American who worked for the Carnival Cruise Line who stayed until the end of his contract. Brian detailed how the worst part of his experience was the feeling of being property of the cruise line, saying, “The worst part of the job is being ‘owned’ by the corporation…They control what you eat, when you eat, when you can go use the toilet, how cold it is in your cabin, everything.” Yikes!

The Cruise Line Property

Leftover Meals for the Crew

This is a little like a high school cafeteria, or maybe even worse, in the sense that the crew members are the lowest of the food chain so they get the scraps. The kitchen staff do get quite creative sometimes, especially considering that they don’t have too much to work with while on board, but you don’t necessarily want to eat it all the time, like having to eat goat stew regularly. Lucky cruise members get to eat passenger leftovers. At the end of a shift, they’re allowed to eat what’s left of a passenger buffet, though it’s so good, it doesn’t really last very long.

Leftover Meals For The Crew

Strange Requests Crew Members Get

If you are ever looking for a really bizarre story, just find someone in the hospitality and service industry and you will most likely be presented with a goldmine of weirdness. Experienced crew members are pretty used to getting strange requests from passengers while onboard. Apparently young people frequent many of these strange requests. According to USA Today “Some young couples ask, ‘Could you make some towel animals for adults?’ They want naughty animals,” she said. “I say, ‘Sorry, I cannot give you that.'”

Strange Requests Crew Members Get

Getting Fat Tips

In fact, although a cruise ship worker saves money while onboard, a significant part of their monthly wages comes from tips. So a bubbly, friendly, smiley personality will make it easier to make more cash onboard. But worry not, most cruise lines have a mandatory gratuity which is split among all the employees. The wages are not all that bad when it comes down to it really. Many manage to send quite a bit of money home to their families, they basically have no expenses while on board, so a little really goes a long way.

Getting Fat Tips

No Days Off

If you are someone who loves weekends, just the idea of the weekend makes you grin, then working on a cruise ship is not for you. Most cruise ship workers do not get one single day off while onboard. Usually, they are contracted for sets of about nine months, and they are working pretty much straight through that time.That being said, it is not all bad, and the crew are not working 24/7 but they work on a rotational basis. So instead of having full days off, they get some hours of downtime every day. When the contract is up, there is a two-month-long vacation.

No Days Off

You Will Get Left Behind

The stopovers at different ports in various countries and cities is one of the most exciting parts of a cruise. Crew members, should they be free, are able to explore the port stop-overs as they please. But most importantly, you must return on time, as cruise ships will not wait for you.If they stay in the port longer than their given time they are subject to huge fines. So don’t expect them to wait if you are late getting back. We will day this again, if you miss the departure time you are pretty much on your own. So don’t!

You Will Get Left Behind